Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
