he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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