She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
