Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
