It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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