Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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