it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
