So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
