Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
