is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
