is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
not ubering you a puppy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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