She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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