That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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