Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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