what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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