I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
