Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
