ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
