The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
