Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
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She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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