were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
