I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
