Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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