Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
