So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
