I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
