Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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