So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
