i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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