playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
