If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
