drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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