Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it because I queefed?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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