smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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