Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
