We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
