there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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