I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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