i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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