And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
