Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
