ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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