You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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