A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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