I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
