guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize