do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize