How'd it feel making her break her religion?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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