Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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