Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
