we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize