I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
