Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
