my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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