I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize