so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You left your phone here
Wait...
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