I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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