I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
