So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
