I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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