He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
