Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I am available for nakedness
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
