dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
